Bringing Back the Magic
Itís my job to help people to rediscover the magic. Not only to stop the arguments or make things just OK, but to find magic. People donít only like to read or watch love stories - they want to live them.
With marriage breakdown on the rise, it sometime seems as if we have forgotten how to be in love. Many people put up with unhappiness, for the sake of the kids, or because it seems easier than making a change. However, there is an alternative to unhappiness or separation.
After years of counselling experience on the central coast, I have developed a powerful method of healing for couples, which blends traditional relationship or marriage guidance counselling with emotional healing techniques taken from psychotherapy and spiritual healing. This method goes beyond concerns about who is right and wrong, and focuses on rebuilding a relationship based on respect, communication, intimacy and mutual support.
The starting point is the belief that: loving, joyful relationships are achievable. Conflict usually means that one or both partners are not getting their needs met, and we need to take those needs seriously. Quite often, the real problem is quite different from what people think it is.
Regardless of the type of relationship we are in, the quality of our relationships is one of the key issues that determines the quality of our lives. And it is the quality of our communication that determines the quality of our relationships. The Heart Mind Spirit approach first looks at clearing up communication barriers - teaching both partners to speak up and both partners to listen. Once communication is established, then it becomes possible to explore specific issues.
It is important to identify issues clearly and decide whether they are things that need to be challenged or accepted. This understanding may lead to individual healing work on letting go of emotional attachments to past issues.
The final stage is about rebuilding deep trust, deep connection and deep intimacy. This is where we go beyond problem solving, and start finding the magic.
In many cases, emotional healing for one or both partners is required for the relationship to reform - people must have a good relationship with themselves before they can form deep relationships with others. In fact, many issues that seem to be major problems in a relationship become less important when a person deals with their own issues. Individual counselling sessions may be needed to achieve this.